I’m Baaaaaaaaaack!

Posted on November 19, 2011 by

Hey!!!

Remember me? Remember this thing I used to do, called blogging? Remember this blog I used to have? Me either!

Yeah, I suck, blah blah, let me give you a list of excuses as to why I haven’t been blogging:

  • just kidding
  • feel free to skip this
  • don’t feel bad
  • (I do it too)

Whatever, this bitch is back. And now that I’ve joined the league of the iPad-ed, I plan on being around a lot more often. So update your bookmarks (because I need to renew www.alexisjulian.com) and check back soon because I’ve decided to throw caution themed content to the wind, and I’m going to be blogging about whatever I fancy. And I’ll be making a real post soon! Like really soon! Like really real soon! Like maybe even tomorrow!

Okay that’s enough with the exclamation points. Here’s a recent picture of me. (Hey, this is a vanity blog right?)

20111119-183319.jpg

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Lost in Wanderlust

Posted on September 11, 2011 by

So I have a terribly darling friend named Amanda. The way I feel about Amanda is… hmm. To quote The Beatles: “with lovers and friends/ I still can recall… But of all these friends and lovers/ There is no one/ Compares with you”.  I don’t mean to get over the top girl-crush, but Amanda is one of those people who I truly thank the universe for sending my way. She is ethereal and slightly magical and very wonderful, in addition to being a stunning beauty and very intelligent. Amanda recently re-introduced me (and the rest of my coworkers) to Astrology.

My mother has actually had my chart done for me on several occasions, I tune in to SoundGarden.tv’s YouTube channel every now and then, and if a newspaper is in front of me, I’ll check my horoscope (right after Dear Abby), so I’m not necessarily new to the idea of Astrology. But after reading so many different books on the matter, I’ve come to embrace the fact that I truly am a card-carrying Sagittarius. The only description I’ve found more fitting is the more specific title of “Scorpio-Sagittarius cusp” (or my Jung personality test — I’m an ENFP if you’re curious).

c. Amanda Leaty (fresherthanair.blogspot.com)

All of this is to say that as I was driving home tonight I came to the conclusion that (in addition to “White Girl in the First World”) “I’ll know when I get there” is a very honest summary of the way I live my life.

It probably seems irresponsible to most, but I love viewing this life as a dress rehearsal. And I want to make mistakes and have victories just as often. I want to have as many possible human experiences as I can while I’m here. I want to learn as much as I can, touch and be touched by as many lives as I can, try as many and do as many things as I can… and the overwhelming part of me really believes that this is possible without winning the lottery tomorrow.

What do I do, you know? What am I doing in my life that is restricting me so tightly to a bubble 25 miles in diameter around my house? I can hang out anywhere as long as I can afford the gas to get there, I can live anywhere I want and work in retail, I could move anywhere I want and get into some sort of school. My family is here, but my family will continue to be here. I have a new family down in Portland, and a little bit of family sprinkled all over the country and the rest of the globe. If I can afford to go there I can make it happen, there’s no way I couldn’t.

I’ve been thinking these kinds of things a lot lately; packing up a few important things and taking a couple paychecks in my little car and driving until I feel the urge to stop. It would probably be wonderful. I could meet tons of new people, see a billion new things, find a couple more Amanda’s, and gain a thousand new experiences.

But I don’t really know what those thoughts mean. “Jack Kerouac”-it? Just hit the road, Sally, find out what the next step is one day at a time? I’ll never be 20 years old again — “this life is not a read-through”? Who says! I don’t know what any of it means, but I can guarantee by March of 2012, I’ll have a clear destination in mind… even if that destination is “lost in wanderlust”.

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“!!!”

Posted on July 14, 2011 by

I consider myself a fairly self-motivated person, but sometimes we all need a good kick in the teeth. I’ve taken this break from Ian as well as could be expected. In typical Alexis fashion I’ve done an okay job at not wearing my emotions on my sleeve, but I pour my heart out and make dumb jokes in social gatherings or sit in tears and silence with the sadness when the twist in my stomach tightens. So I’ve needed a pick-me-up. And since really great, really unhealthy foods no longer fill that void, I had to dig elsewhere.

One thing I have consistently felt provided me with a level of comfort is impactful words spoken by brilliant people. During a heart to heart with a dear friend the other night I realized how many of these wonderful quotes I carry around with me, and thought I’d gather some of them here in hopes that they will remind me of my core values and potentially touch someone else along the way. So!

My Personal Mantras:

“There is no way out but through.” Robert Frost
I came across this quote during an angsty trip to poetry camp. It sounds just about as bourgeois as it was, but it was still a darker period of my life. I was having a really hard time processing the transition between adolescence and young adulthood, and this quote hit me hard. I immediately snapped out of my angsty funk and into a productive period of reveling in bad feelings. It’s a tough thing to do, but sometimes you have to really marinade in the bad time you’re experiencing. Being able to sit with your pain gives you so much power, and walking through it brings you to a much more beautiful side of the human experience. (See also: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill)

“For true success, ask yourself these four questions: why? why not? why not me? why not today?” Jimmy Dean
I am a bit of a procrastinator by nature, but when I read this quote (just the other day!) it had a very serious impact on me. It falls square into line with the other quotes/mantras that I embrace and it also motivated the bejeezus out of me to keep myself on MY course for my life; to stay true to who I am and to make sure my actions are consistently pushing me in the direction I want to be going. (See also: “If not now, when?” -Martin Luther)

Trust the Universe ~ Let it unfold ~ I’mpossible
These mantras are the first act of my one-woman show. I do take responsibility for my life, my choices, my actions, and the results I obtain from them… but it’s also important for me to remember that there is a cosmic balance. I find so much peace in relinquishing overwhelming problems to the universe, and I have never found the “universe”, “cosmos”, “gods”, “God”, or whatever to let me down. Ultimately, I feel that everything happens for some reason or purpose. If I trust those things, let them be what they are — sucky or not!, and turn less-than-stellar lemons into pink-pomegranate-lemonade I will have a significantly better life than if I spent it trying to fix problems that are out of my control, micromanaging every aspect of my life to the point that I’m following decade old dreams, and not having faith in myself.

Be ever present
This is easily my saving grace, go-to, alpha and omega personal mantra. There was a very dark and depressed period of my life when I was very scared about the future and couldn’t handle the present. Instead, I was an emotional wreck, chronically anxious about what my life would hold for me. ‘Be ever present’ means that my life isn’t something I just think about, 3rd person narration style. Life in the present will create the future I was once scared I would miss out on. 

Sometimes this mindset can be detrimental, because embracing the present completely can neglect thoughts of the future… It’s hard to savor every moment and consciously build a secure, well thought out path. But I think the more I discover who I am and what I want out of life, the easier it is to make sure that the life I am living will produce a future of even more brilliant present moments. “Be ever present” is a great motto… as long as it’s used correctly. Using it as an excuse for complacency would be a perverse misuse of the expression.

Another thing that really helped me pull my act together during that time was to write out a list of 10 or so things I really wanted for my life. They ranged from basically trivial (wear more dresses) to quite serious (move to San Jose). Making that list and understanding that those were real, tangible things that could happen for me in my lifetime was a great step in the right direction. I’m going to post my new, updated list of 10 things I want to conquer very soon. But until then…

love & light - Alexis

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Mama, I’m movin’ out

Posted on July 6, 2011 by

I hate moving.

Yeah, everyone hates moving. But I’ve developed a special brand of hatred for this act. Especially after moving six times between June of 2008 and August of 2010. No, you read that right… six times in two years. 

  1. June of 2008: moved from my hometown to the 8th floor of an studio apartment dorm in Portland, Oregon.
  2. September of 2008: I moved to the 4th floor of the same building.
  3. June of 2009: I moved back up to the 9th floor of said building.
  4. December 2009: I moved out of that building, and across campus into a one-bedroom apartment.
  5. June of 2010: I moved into a sleeper unit in the basement of that building (literally a bedroom, small closet, and bathroom down the hall)
  6. August of 2010: I moved from Portland back to my hometown, and in with Ian

After nearly a year of living here, Ian and I decided to end our relationship, and I am moving back in with my folks. I don’t really want to talk about the break up in this post (mostly because I’m tired of my own voice on the matter) but it’s not because we hate each other, it’s not because we even dislike one another… it’s just that we’re too great at all the wonderful emotional loving stuff and not good enough at being the responsible adults that living together requires we be. So it sucks. It’s not what either of us want or envisioned or are thrilled to be doing but it is what it is. 

And even though I have a special brand of hatred for moving, the kind of hatred I have for moving this time is even more unique and rooted even deeper within my core. Because despite the fact that I have moved six times in the past three years I’ve never moved while my internal monologue is a screaming loop of “THIS ISN’T HOW IT SHOULD BE!” mixed with heartbreak and sadness.

So. That’s what I’m up to these days. It’s not the best feeling I’ve ever experienced but I have faith in all of the quotes and stories and art I’ve encountered, I have faith in myself, and I have a lot of faith in the universe to provide me with the best life that was always meant to be mine. I’ll be okay.

But until then… boxes. Laaaame.

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The Saddest Goodbye

Posted on June 21, 2011 by

Before I ever had a boyfriend to snuggle, real homework to do, a car to drive, or friends to hang out with… I was an eight year old who got a cat.

They were tuxedo kittens, black except for their chest and paws. Rosie was always significantly smaller, and she had a little white patch between her eyes. Initially, I “claimed” her, but after Adrian threw a fit roles were reversed and I was stuck with the boy cat (younger siblings, right?). Titanic had just come out so my younger sister named her kitten Rose. He was Jack for a few hours, but I later named him Oliver, after Oliver Warbucks and Oliver Twist.

He turned 12 last month, and today we found out that his kidneys are failing and he’ll need to be put to sleep. I’m devastated.

It sounds kind of stupid, but if you ever had a childhood pet I’m sure you understand. Oliver was my best friend before I ever had a real best friend. He snuggled with me half a decade before I ever had a boyfriend. He laid curled above my head while I slept for years, listening while I read Nancy Drew books to him before we went to bed. If I was ever upset, he’d run up to my bed and purr while he licked my tears. All I had to do was pat my bed as I made kisses — just twice in a row! — and he’d jump right up into my arms. I wrote poems about him! He has always been my little puma, running around the neighborhood and proudly carrying birds and mice home to me.

I love Oliver so much. I’ve dreaded this day since I understood what death was, and that one day everything would die. He’s been my best friend for over half my life, and I will be so sad to say goodbye.

Oliver used to stand at our front door or on our front porch meowing until someone would come outside with him, at which point he’d trot out into the grass so you would sit with him, watch him roll around, or brush him. I brushed him on the front lawn this afternoon and he got up, clearly wanting to trot around and play, but he’s having such a hard time walking that I scooped him up and carried his skinny little body inside. “Tomorrow,” I said, “you will be able to run around in yards ten times the size of ours, baby. You’ll be able to run and play and catch a million mice. I love you, big boy.”

And tomorrow, he will. I love you, Oliver. You were the best cat a girl could ever ask for, and the best cat this girl will ever have.

love, light & a lot of tears

xoxo

alexis

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Souper Ramen!

Posted on June 14, 2011 by

If I didn’t love Ian, I would probably find the fact that he is good at everything totally annoying. Instead I embrace it (there are way worse things out there than loving and living with a capable, talented person, after all) and wind up learn new things all the time. Things that I can shamelessly post on my blog.

Things like this delicious rendition of run of the mill ramen.

You will need:

  • 1 regular packet of Top Ramen, whatever flavor you prefer
  • ~1/2-1 cup of frozen vegetables of your choice
  • 1 egg
  • 1-2 tsp sesame oil
  • water

You will then:

  • place the noodles in a microwave safe bowl, fill with enough water to cover the noodles
  • cook in the microwave for about 5 1/2 minutes
  • add sesame seed oil, the Top Ramen seasoning packet, your vegetables, and the egg
  • cover the bowl (we use a salad plate) and put back in the microwave for about 3 1/2 minutes
  • wait for it to cool down — it comes out extremely hot, so be careful 
  • enjoy thoroughly!

So there you have it: A bit more nutritious, a bit heartier, and a bit tastier too!

*I realize that most of the country is sweltering, but we’re keeping it nice and cloudy at around 55°F here in Seattle, so a warm soup sounds pretty good. If you can’t stand to think of a soup that’s not chilled or made with cucumbers right now, save this little recipe for next fall or your next rainstorm!

love & light
xoxo
alexis
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My Make-up Routine

Posted on June 11, 2011 by

Well, it’s been over six months so I think I can officially call myself a “retail bitch”. I love it though. I absolutely, hands down, impossibly close to 100% of the time love my job. I spend an average of 35 hours a week helping women select beautiful handbags and accessories, playing stylist in the fitting rooms, scoping out our best dressed clientele for inspiration for my own personal style, and hanging out with some of the best girls around. And then every two weeks, I get paid! It’s pretty much the best thing ever.

One of the very best parts of the job is having a legitimate excuse to dress up and put my face on without feeling lame for running to Target in a dress and full make up. Since changing up my makeup routine in March, I have been totally obsessed with the new products I discovered and the end result, so I thought I’d share them with you today.

  1. Neutrogena’s Oil Free Moisturizer with SPF 30+: this has been my trusty standby for years. It’s reasonably priced, has a decent SPF, I can find it almost anywhere, and a bottle lasts me well past six months.
  2. Mac Prep+Prime Skin Brightening Serum: I just picked this up in March and I really, really love it. I do feel like it’s evened out my skin tone. I typically use two pumps of this and one pump of my moisturizer, mix them together and apply using my fingers. I let it absorb into my skin for a few minutes, and it makes a very smooth application for #3, which is…
  3. Mac Face+Body Liquid Foundation: I got this when I got the Prep+Prime because I was tired of my previous liquid foundation… and I could not be happier with it. The bottle is huge, so even though it’s a fairly expensive foundation ($32) I definitely feel as though it was worth every penny. I apply this with a Mac 187 stippling brush, using my hand as a palette.
  4. Mac Mineralize Skinfinish Natural: After brushing out excess foundation onto a paper towel, I use the same stippling brush to apply this all over my face as a finishing powder. This seals in my foundation and buffs out any uneven distribution of color.
  5. Benefit Coralista Blush: I use a different 187 stippling brush to apply this to the highest point on my cheekbones. I don’t like concentrating color on the apples of my cheeks, I think it adds dimension and adds length to my face when I place it on the upper-outer part of my cheekbones.
  6. Mac Lustre Drops: I don’t use this every single day, but as it gets warmer outside I find myself reaching for this more and more often. I dab just a drop onto the tip of my ring finger and use it as a highlighter. I usually do a little above my eyebrows, on the tops of my cheeks, a little bit down my nose, and a tiny dab on my cupids bow (above the lips). This is a terrific product for a dewy look.
  7. CoverGirl Lashblast Mascara: I use the blackest black I can find because I’m obsessed with dramatic lashes. Lately, though, I’ve been going for a more natural look so I just use a little. But I’ve been using this mascara for a couple years now and consider it a staple. The wand is great at separating, volumizing, and lengthening… which is everything I want in a mascara. So A+ for this one!
  8. Mac Eyebrow Pencil: I think eyebrows might be the No. 1 feature that pull everything together, but they’re probably the most neglected and abused part of a makeup routine. I would venture to guess that most girls, if they’re not over-plucking, aren’t thinking about their eyebrows at all. Which is a shame. If you don’t wear glasses (and even if you do!), there’s a lot of “blank” space happening from your lashes up to your natural hairline. Focusing on your eyebrows will add some contrast, especially if you have light colored, patchy eyebrows (like me). I use a light hand to sketch over my “natural” eyebrows — of course they’re not totally natural, I get them regularly waxed!
  9. Mac Brow Set: I have the clear brow set, and I use a light hand to run the wand over my brows. Pretty simple, but it keeps them nice and tidy and locks in the pencil color.
  10. Dior Addict Lip Glow: I heard about this awhile ago, purchased it on a day I was feeling rich enough to spend nearly $30 on tinted chapstick, rarely used it, and tossed it in my “random products I haven’t committed to yet” drawer. I rediscovered it about six months later and fell head over heels in love. It smells nice, has a much more sophisticated texture than plain-Jane chapstick, and adds a very natural rosy pink to your lips. I love it for work because it’s superquick and I don’t have to worry about being meticulous like with lipstick, it’s not sticky or unnatural looking like lip gloss, and it’s not boring and translucent like my Burts Bees.
It may seem like a lot of stuff, but it typically takes less than 10 minutes start to finish and I think it turns out pretty alright by the time I have to clock in and start another day at the retail grind.
love & light
xoxo
Alexis
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